Waking up in Vancouver

 Waking up, day 2 in Vancouver BC!!!!!! Penny is sitting at the sliding glass door, looking out at the day. I'm about to go over to Jeff and Sam's for Yorkshire tea, and Dan and his partner should be there, too. And then we're going bouldering today!!! At the hive north shore in north vancouver. After that there's this "secret" spa that does hot and cold plunge services for like 45 bucks CAD but there are only two spots available. So we're probably going to cold plunge at Kits Beach or Jericho or something like that. Didn't sleep that great. Hope I send hard today!! Happy new year!!!!!!!!

Made it to Vancouver.

 I made it to Vancouver ! I'm basically stoked out of gourde right now, drinking coffee at Forecast. The border was so incredibly chill. Less than a 10 minute wait. The dude didn't seem to notice all the detritus in my car and only asked where I was staying, not what I did for work or any crap like that. Honestly it was one of the chilliest trips to Vancouver I've ever had. Not much traffic in Seattle, no traffic in Bellingham, chill border and not much Vancouver traffic. A great parking spot in front of where I'm cat sitting ! And then straight to forecast in the rain where I ordered a decaf oat latte that I'm currently drinking. Best of all the forecast for Squamish is still holding ! It's calling for sun which means MAYBE the apron boulders will be somewhat dry. Maybe. Not counting on it. The dude to my right has SUCH a BC accent. I love it. 

Goat Rock State Beach and Why Grades Aren't As Subjective As We Think

 

The author giving a burn on Hard Up V3 at Goat Rock State Beach, CA. 

I've been thinking a lot about climbing grades, and whether or not they're subjective. It's my contention that they're NOT subjective, or at least not as subjective as people think. Saying "grades are inherently subjective" has become a refrain in the climbing world, one usually not backed up by evidence, and one that I find intellectually lazy. I've heard some arguments as to why grades are subjective -- each climber has a different body type, height, etc. -- and some of them are valid (at least to a certain extent). In this post I hope to explain why I think this subjectivity only goes so far, and why grades -- be it the the v-scale, font scale, Yosemite decimal -- are unwittingly based on something more scientific and thus less subjective. 

But before I get into THAT, my homies, let's talk a little bit more about where I am and the photo that started off this post. I'm in Willits, CA (yeah, THAT Willits) and yesterday I drove up the coast and climbed at Goat Rock State Beach, site of where I tore my LCL two years ago. In fact, I tore my LCL on the exact boulder problem in the photo, on one move before the move I'm trying, getting my left hand from lower than where it is in the photo and trying to use a heel hook to get it higher. 

It was a little weird going back to these boulders. It had been two years. I was a much different climber then, probably just as strong, just as psyched, but also more reckless and much worse at reading beta. Honestly, the being worse at reading beta part was the only detractor. I wish I could be as reckless as I was back then, but, you know, the low back. I guess I don't wish I was as reckless as was I used to be in how I approached boulder problems, i.e., from the ground, just giving it everything I got. Now my tactics are much better. In the boulder above, for example, I worked it more from the top down, or at least the middle out. I knew I wasn't gonna flash it, so first I started dialing in the moves. 

I didn't send the boulder, but yesterday was still glorious. After the sesh I stood by the Subee up above the boulders, looking out over God's green earth, the blue waters of the Pacific Ocean, my palms facing the sky, and gave thanks to the Universe and the Tao. I gave thanks for that session, for having another day on this planet, for my relative health, and for many other things. And then I started driving north. 

Now back to grades, though I don't know how much I want to get into it today. Basically at some point I'd like to write a well-structured, well thought out piece and submit it to Climbing Magazine, and I consider all of this just prep for that. 

So here's my contention: Grades are (unwittingly) based on a scientific system that takes into account a multitude of factors, the most important being: A) angle of the wall, B) angle of the holds, C), depth of the holds, and finally D) placement of the holds (how far they are apart, which way they face, where they are in relation to each other). 

If, on a systems board, you took a series of holds, all one inch deep, completely neutral in angle (i.e. neither positive or negative, neither incut or slopey), and placed these holds in a latter fashion, you could create a very simple, boring ladder problem, that would sort of look like this: 

-----

            

        -----

-----

       -----

-----

       -----

Now, if you set the angle of the board at + 5 degrees (i.e., 5 degrees less than vertical, i.e. slab), the difficulty would undoubtedly be around VB. Then, if you tilted the board up to vertical, the difficulty would increase a bit, maybe still VB, maybe V0 at this point. 

Whether or not the problem is VB or V0 at this point is up for debate. This is where different body types come into play, and conversely the SMALL degree of subjectivity involved in grades. For some body types, the problem would feel like VB. For others it might feel like V0, or even V1. But for no one would it feel like V5, or V10, or V15. This is our first hint that grades aren't entirely subjective. 

Now, say you tilted the board to -10 degree, i.e., slightly overhanging. This would increase the difficulty of the problem significantly, maybe somewhere in the V1-2 range. And if you kept tilting it back, the grade would keep increasing. At 20 degrees you might have a V5 or V7, at some point you'd have something on the very limits of what's climbable right now, i.e. V17, and at some point you'd have something that's completely impossible. The point is: this would be a measurable phenomenon. Certain angles of the board with this specific hold setup would produce specific grades, plus or minus a grade or two depending on body type (note: "body type" assumes a certain height, say the mean human height plus or minus 6-8 inches on each side. If a person is 2'6'', then certain problems would be MUCH harder or impossible. But for the purposes of my argument I'm not taking into account the 2'6'' human). 

You could then do this same experiment with different hold angles and different hold placements, and ultimately with wall angles that vary throughout the problem (as they do outdoors). Ultimately, with enough data, you could come up with an algorithm that would take ALL of these factors into account (hold angle, hold placement, wall angle, and many others) and accurately predict the grade of the problem to within one or two V-grades. You could also input the body type of the climber, making it even more accurate. I'm sure someone will come up with this algorithm at some point and write a program with it, because you know what? We've all already come up with this algorithm on our own after years of climbing. Our bodies and minds experience the problem, take into account the angle of the wall and the angle and placement of the holds, churn that data into an algorithm, and then we spit out a grade. It's not scientific, but, well, actually it sort of is, and it damn well could be even more scientific. Beause again, grades are SOMEWHAT subjective, a little bit subjective, but not nearly so much as people claim. That V1 you climbed could be a V2, or a V0, or even a V3. But it's not a V15.  This is backed by science, but not science that has been necessarily thought out/discussed in formal settings. But that doesn't mean the science isn't there.

Lean In

 

A view of Bishop from the volcanic tablelands. 

Not a ton to report today. I'm in Hostel California. I'm drinking cocoa. I've got the yoga mat in front of me, where I was just lying down doing some back exercises. I just heard some kids at the table downstairs talking about going to the Happies. Apparently people don't wait a couple days to go climbing after a rain. Honestly I don't think it really matters. This boulders have been climbed on so much, day after day, that the holds are probably pretty solid. And what does it matter if a hold breaks off? It's not like holds are going to break off on the hard stuff, since all of that is super overhanging and doesn't really get wet. I don't know. People have obviously been climbing on sunny days the day after a rain for many years now, and things have turned out pretty ok.

Where should I climb today? The Buttermilks, the Happies, or the Sads? 

A sip of my cocoa. Some more floor work. Some Bishop middle schoolers that walk by outside. 

The Seattle forecast has NO RAIN in it for days and days and days. Well maybe just days and days. It's colder than here, though. The high next Monday is supposed to be 30. The HIGH.

I can't decide if I should stay in the same room tonight or change over to the one with the shared bathroom. Maybe one more night here?

The thing about the Buttermilks is they could be snowy. And what if I drove all the way out there only to not be able to climb because of the snow? That would suck. At least I'd get some cool photos. 

My fingers feel swollen. 

Every day I talk about how my diet was bad the night before, how I drank too much beer, so maybe I just need to accept that and stop talking about it. It's not like I really want to change it. I like drinking beer, at least right now. I like eating good but somewhat dubious food. Though last night it was just dubious. 

When I was five or so in Colorado Springs I went climbing for the first time in Garden of the Gods. The thing is, I remember almost nothing about the outing. Honestly, I don't even really remember if I climbed or if I just watched my friend's dad climb. But I think I did climb, and I think I went up what felt like really high on top rope but was probably only like 10 or 20 feet. I remember being scared. I remember not liking the experience that much. It's hard to like something if you're scared. 

Then in 2010 or so I remember my friend Anya always trying to get me to go climbing with her. She said I'd be good at it, that I was athletic and had the right body type. And I always turned her down. I thought climbing was dumb. I was 27 or so at the time. 

Then in 2014 I did let myself get convinced to go bouldering at the Bainbridge climbing gym, where I got pumped in about three minutes. Actually, probably even less than that. I got pumped in one or two attempts on what was probably the easiest problem there. And after that I thought, This is stupid. 

And then finally, in 2019, my friend H convinced me to go to SBP, because there were hot girls and it was fun and the yoga classes were a good way to limber up. And so I went, and this time, probably because I went with good friends, and probably because SBP is more fun for beginners, something clicked. And I wanted to go back. And I started going back by myself. And I got obsessed. Fast forward to Valentine's Day, just before COVID, and I was at an intermediate bouldering class just me and another few guys trying purples and oranges. And fast forward to today, where I'm sitting in the private room of a hostel in Bishop, California deciding whether I'm gonna go climb at the Buttermilks, the Happies or the Sads. I'm 39 years old and obsessed with something in a way I've been obsessed with few things before. And I'm almost ashamed of it, because it's weird to be so into something at the age of 39 that's usually for people who are younger, stronger, who's bodies aren't as wrecked. But I'm trying to lean into it, not question it. This is something that's just for me and not anybody else. That's why it's ok and beautiful that I go to the boulders and just try a few moves on a V2 if that's what I'm feeling. It's a purely selfish thing and one that doesn't need explaining or justification. Time to lean in. 

Bonus Post: Waiting for the Sads

 Left my hotel room, drove up to Bishop, where I'm at the Starbucks. Decided to not climb quite yet because I think things might need a little longer to dry out. It's cold outside. It was snowing in Big Pine on the way up here. But now I'm in Bishop. In a little bit I'll drive to the Sads, and I'll try to climb. Or at least I'll hike up there, look at some boulders. 

I meditated for 14 minutes this morning. 

I got a tall decaf soy latte. They sweeten the shit out of that soy milk. It's delicious. 

Ah! I remember the whole reason I wanted to do this bonus post. This video:

My favorite climbing video in a long time, the exact kind of content I thirst for. One of the strongest climbers in the world, trying one of the hardest boulders in the world, and a boulder shrouded in mystique and mystery. In the end, I'm a fan of all things bouldering: the history, the pros, the hardest climbs, the best areas, the stories, the guidebooks, the lore. So when I see a video like this, I get psyched. Maybe my new favorite YouTube channel?

That's about all I have for the bonus post. Not COMPLETELY looking forward to the washboard on the way to the Sads, but definitely looking forward to the silence, to getting up there. 

Send Something

OK, so I have a goal for my time here in Bishop: I just want to send SOMETHING. Now, I know what you're thinking: Define "something." And that's easy: "Something" to me is basically anything V3 or harder, or even a cool hard V2. For example, Slight Inducement Right would be something to me. It's overhung, the movement is amazing, the last move is spicy. And although Slight Inducement V1 has amazing movement too, and is an incredible problem, it doesn't really meet the criteria for this goal. Because grades do matter.

I'm in Lone Pine again this morning, drinking my cocoa, thinking about the day. I've already done a little light stretching/physical therapy, and I tried to take a walk but it was so damn cold and windy outside that I had to retreat after about a block. But this wind means the boulders will dry out QUICKLY. I must say, though, my body didn't feel great on the walk. Walking for me is a good metric of how I feel. And I didn't feel great. But I think with a couple more cocoas, more stretching, more physical therapy, I'll feel pretty damn good. And I'll be ready to head back north to Bishop, where I already have a room reserved at Hostel California. But first I'll probably go back to the Sad Boulders, where I'll maybe try French Press V6, maybe try Pow Pow V7/8, or maybe just do individual moves on a V2, which is what I've done the first two sessions. 

Which brings me to yesterday's session, and a trend that seems to be developing in my climbing. 

A building in Lone Pine, CA. If you zoom in you can see the sign says Mount Whitney Rifle club.

Yesterday I went to the Sad Boulders with the intention of mostly hiking and maybe climbing a bit. As in my previous sessions, I basically found a boulder with some nice holds on it and just started trying individual moves. Like I look at the boulder and think, I wonder how I get from that hold to that hold. And then I start trying it, and I experiment with different methods, and I'm satisfied when I find the most efficient way possible. And then maybe I add a move from a lower spot on the boulder, or maybe I add a move or two up top. Repeat, repeat, repeat, until a move that felt hard or confusing feels good and close to effortless.

Then it started raining.
But I was happy with the session.
So I went home.
But not before stopping at Von's and buying a shit ton of yogurt.

Apparently Blogger thinks that last part is a poem and won't let me change the formatting. But that's ok. I like it as a poem.

Although I'm a grade chaser, the thing that most gets me pysched in climbing is the movement, and figuring out moves. This is something that is just beginning to crystalize for me. This is also why I can go out on a session, do a few moves that feel really good, not climbing anything from bottom to top, but still feel really good. For me, if you're progressing in this way, everything else is irrelevant. The sends WILL COME. But they'll come when it's a natural moment for them to do so. They won't be forced. Eventually you'll find a boulder where you enjoy all the moves -- or you can figure out a WAY to enjoy all the moves --- and then you'll do it from bottom to top just because it feels natural. And then you will have "sent" a boulder, and maybe it'll even be in the guidebook. Just remember that the people who made the guidebook are human, just like you. Maybe you like starting in a different place on the climb, because it makes it easier or you find the movement more interesting. Do that climb. Don't worry if it's not "right," or if it's not in the guidebook. Do that climb. 

At first I was a bit worried that I'm getting in the habit of "not sending." But then I realized, Who cares? I'm getting in the habit of learning, of messing around, of having fun, of becoming a better climber. The sends will come. 

I wish I didn't have to check out of this room in an hour and a half. 

These little missions, where I don't try super hard every day and just mess around, are also awesome because they're sustainable; I can do them every day. That's important when you're road tripping and not working and need a mission for every day. So now I've got my routine: Wake up, roll around in bed a little bit, get out of bed, stretch a bit, make my first cocoa, if it's after 8am I can check my phone(s). At some point I have another cup of cocoa, and at some point I take a short walk, get some sun on my face. At some point I write this blog. Then I do more stretching, and physical therapy exercises like bridges and supermans and other stuff. Maybe some pushups. Then, mid morning, I leave on my mission, which involves a bit of hiking and the aforementioned bouldering process.

Then, in the afternoon, I lounge. This last part needs some work. It involves lots of screentime and not a little bit of beer. 

Hopefully tonight I meet some people at Hostel California. 

And hopefully today I maybe even send something. 

A Night in Lone Pine, CA

Soooooo I just paid for another night of lodging at The Portal Motel here in Lone Pine, CA and I feel pretty good about it. I still might drive the 60 miles into Bishop today to go bouldering, or I might just stay here. It seemed DUMB to stay here when I could stay in Bishop for basically the same price, but I like the town of Lone Pine a lot more than Bishop. Bishop is fine. Bishop isn't terrible. Bishop has some charming things, some charming places to stay, and most people would think it's STUPID or wasteful to stay in a place 60 miles south of the place you want to climb, but in the end it's a wash. I spend less on lodging here. My mind is quieter here. In the end, I'm probably less wasteful here, though I did spend the majority of yesterday evening drinking beer and sitting in front of a screen. 

How much do I save per night by staying here? About 30 bucks. Not a ton. Canceled out by driving costs if I drive into Bishop today. But now I at least have the OPTION of watching the England v. France game live this morning...

I've meditated this morning. I've had my cocoa. If I DO go bouldering today it will be to The Sad Boulders, where I might try French Press V6, Molly V5 (probably if no one else is on it, though), or some easier V2-V3 problems. The other option is to go look for stuff to climb here in the Alabama Hills. There's tons of stuff to climb here. Tons of opportunities for FA's, or at least FA's to you. So that could be fun. At least now that I have lodging figured out I don't have to stress about it. I don't have to think, Where am I sleeping tonight? 

If you look east right now it's 100% sun. If you look west it's 100% storm. Maybe I'll try to capture this with my camera in a bit. 

Yesterday I hiked up to the Druid Stones, my first time there. I barely climbed, but it was nice to try out the new moccs. Mostly I wanted to see the boulders and get some excercise. I was particularly impressed by the Sacrificial Boulder, with its V6, V5 and V3 lines. I was also impressed by Arch Drude V5, and still wonder if that's a typo. Is Drude supposed to be like Dude? If so, kind of funny. Kind of. That line is way more overhanging than I thought. Everything in Bishop is overhanging. Maybe not in the Milks, where everything is crimpy. Oh god that's the first time I've called them "The Milks." Am I allowed to call them that yet? I've literally climbed there once. I've driven out there twice, and climbed there once. 

Druid Stones would be sick today. Aka a great place to get caught in a storm. 

Ugh the Subee is leaking all over the motel parking lot and I'm bummed about it. 

Also I got one of the best haircuts of my life yesterday, from a guy named Victor in Bishop. So dope. 

OK it's time for me to go check out the Alabama Hills. My first first ascent????

The Art of Not Sending

 I feel compelled today to write in English as I sit here at the main table of Hostel California, in Bishop, CA. Last night I slept about seven hours. Once again woke up thinking, I'm not fully rested, but couldn't get back to sleep. A) I couldn't back to sleep, b) I was excited to watch the World Cup, and C) I was excited to see what the day would bring, if I would climb, where I would climb. 

And now I'm sitting at the main table, drinking my cocoa, watching the world cup. Cocoa has become my morning routine. It's usually the only caffeine of the day, and I try not to think of it as caffeine. Neymar is rolling around on the ground. Yes, there definitely is some caffeine in there, but there's also theobromine, which is a different kind of stimulant, one which is supposedly not habit forming. 

Today the plan is to hike up to the druid stones and climb some easy stuff there. What will probably happen is I'll climb some easy stuff and then try some harder stuff, and then get pissed off that the harder stuff is shutting me down. But it doesn't really matter, right? Yesterday I was a bit frustrated after my climbing sesh and so went straight to the liquor store and bought a bottle of beer. I think it's important to give into your urges, but not all of them, willy nilly. You must find the middle path. Should your life be completely regimented, completely discipline, or should it be completely hedonistic, doing whatever you feel like? I don't know the answer to this, but it's probably a middle path. For example, I could force myself to not climb today, but that doesn't feel right. I'd rather climb, have fun, get pissed off, but at least know I'm going to get pissed off and that way have some distance from it. For example, yesterday I was frustrated at the end of my session for getting "shut down" but some V2's and V3's, but I couldn't help but stop and notice how beautiful the sun looked on the rock, the Sierras in the distance, the stunning QUIET of the volcanic tablelands. I always forget how quiet it is up there in the Happies and the Sads. I started bouldering at the Slight Inducement area. It was stunningly quiet. Magisterial. The movement on slight inducement right was SUBLIME. Then I went to Beer Tumor. The movement on both beer tumor left and right was sublime, though I sent neither problem.  

What difference between sending and not sending

must you value what others value

avoid what others avoid

how ridiculous. 

Seriously what is the difference between sending and not sending? Are you a better climber if you send? What were the highpoints of climbing yesterday? Topping out a boulder? Absolutely not. Topping out just to top out feels egoic. Instead, the movement was the part I will take with me forever. For instance, when I was warming up I experimented with the best way to move my right hand from one hold to another. Where to best put the feet. And the movement was glorious. The learning. A thousand times more valuable than topping out. 

Unless sending really is important for you. In which case lean in. 

I'm a grade chaser as much as the next guy. 

78 minutes in and still no score. Pretty standard. Time to do some yoga, aka some stretching, aka some push ups and some physical therapy exercises. The surfing exercises have been great for my back. The supermans. And the bridges. And the downward dog. 

What difference between V10 and V2? 

Mi tribu

 Ando en un hostel en Bishop, CA. Tomo vino. Estoy sentado con muchos rucos que andan hablando de subir V6. V6, carajo. Yo fallé en un V2 hoy. ¡En un V1, también! Bueno, podría haber subido el V1. Y ya sé que es fácil decir eso. Pero es cierto. El V2 también. 

Nunca había estado con tanta gente que hable mi idioma. Y sin embargo me quedo callado. ¿Dónde me quedaré mañana? Soy el único que toma alcohol. 

Este vino está medio asqueroso. 

Uno de los hombres sentado en la mesa ha subido V12. 

El chavo con que hablaba antes está intentando un V10 esta noche. 

¿Qué haré mañana?

Todos aquí escalan.

Todos. 

Espero dormir bien esta noche. 

¿Mañana le daré a Beer Tumor Right V4?

¿O mañana no escalo?

No sé. 

Mañana. Me levanto, veo el partido entre Croacia y Brasil, voy a mi cita de corte de pelo a las 9:30, y luego veo el partido entre Paises Bajos y Argentina. Luego le mando a Beer Tumor Right. A huevo. Me la mando. 

Creo que aquí todos se acuestan temprano. O bueno por lo menos espero que sea así. 

Bueno. No sé si me voy a integrar a este grupo de gente. Van a jugar algún juego y creo que no me van a invitar. No he pronunciado palabra alguna. Ya. Voy a lavar el vaso en el que tomé el vino. Voy a tirar la lata. Voy a subir a ver The Sex Lives of College Girls. ¿Dónde quedó la tacaca? ¿Sigue en la sala, haciendo su yoga? Ya. Me tengo que acostar. 

Una tarde en Bend

 Afortunadamente, no tengo donde estar mañana. Ni pasado. Ni pasado. Puedo hacer lo que quiera. POr ejemplo ahorita ando en un café equis en bend, Oregon, tomando un latte descafeinado. Hoy en la tarde a lo mejor me tomaré una cidra o dos, veré la tele, y mañana decidiré si me quedo otro día en bend o si me lanzo aún más para el sur. El sur que me llama. El sur que me sopla cosas bonitas al oído. Mark, vente pa acá. Acá no hay tanta lluvia. Acá hace más calor. Podría ir hasta México, hasta baja California. Podría empezar una nueva vida, que es lo que siempre quiero hacer. 

Bueno en realidad mi vida de Seattle está bastante bien. No me quejo mucho. Pero a veces hay que salir para despejarte la cabeza, ¿no? Esta mañana por ejemplo di una caminata por el Deschutes River. Vi unos boulders. Escuché el suave pisoteo de mis zapatos en la nieve. La nieve que calla todos los sonidos. Entonces camine al lado del río, el río a mi lado derecho, los boulders a mi lado izquierdo, la nieve bajo mis pies y el solo que filtraba por los pinos. No ví a mucha gente. Era resbaloso. Y al final decidi no escalar simplemente porque no tenía muchas ganas. Mi cuerpo me agradece unos días de descanso. Trato de hacer lo que es bueno para mí, olvidando el acondicionamiento social que influye tanto en nuestras decisiones. Esa es mi gran meta de ahora, aprender escuchar a mi cuerpo y la esencia de mi mente, cavando más allá de las muchas capas de acondicionamiento. 

Entonces. 

Mañana quizás llegue a reno. O a lake Tahoe. O a alturas, California. O a un lugar completamente diferente. No voy a decidir ahorita y no voy a estresar. Voy a buscar nuevas llantas para mí carro, y voy a disfrutar la noche Bendina. 

Voy a....

 Bueno de hecho quedé con ganas de escribir otro post. Ya veremos. ¿Qué voy a hacer mañana? Voy a ver la copa mundial. Voy a ir al Depot para ver varios boulders. Tal vez voy a escalar. Voy a ir a REI (duh). Voy a comer una hamburguesa. Voy a comer a una burguesa. Voy a.....

Voy a comer yogurt.

Voy a manejar mi carro. 

Voy a ver la tele. 

Voy a ver YouTube. 

Voy a buscar vuelos para México. 

Voy a hablar con R. 

Voy a hablar con B. 

Voy a pensar en qué voy a hacer pasado mañana. 

Voy a journalear un poco a lo mejor. 

Voy a leer Lessons in Chemistry.

Voy a rezar. 

Voy a amar. 

Voy a mandar mensajes de texto. 

Quizás voy a hablar con mis padres.

Y ya. 

¡Llegué a Bend!

 ¡ya llegué a Bend, culeros! y aquí estoy en mi habitación hermosa, donde todo esta calientito y el calefactor es una maravilla y tengo té calientito y una cama de verdad. Y pues no escucho a nadie ahorita porque parece que no hay mucha gente aquí. Incluso he estado hablando con gente por Tinder. Y pues mañana a ver boulders y acariciar boulders y comer bien y dar una vuelta por el pueblito y hablar con la gente y disfrutar de esta maravilla que es la vida. 

Pero por ahora tengo sueño. 

Y quiero leer. 

Así que déjenme en paz.

Recen por mí

 O sea que ya voy para el sur. Hacia....Bend. Creo. Pero primero tengo que reunirme con Darren para tomar un café. Y comprar un poco de gasolina y aceite high mileage. Y luego el café con Darren, y luego la Carretera. Así va a ser. Bueno, así CREO que va a ser, ya que nunca se puede dar por hecho nada en esta vida. Pero bueno. Aquí estoy en el yate, tengo las maletas casi hechas, tengo mi gorro y mis cables para cargar mis aparatos electrónicos, tengo mi té, tengo papel de baño, tengo mi chamarra de plumas, tengo varios pares de zapatos. No sé que onda con Darren. Supuestamente va a dormir un poco más. No quiero esperar hasta muy tarde, ya que no quiero manejar mucho de noche. Me gustaría llegar a Bend hoy. Faltan como 7 horas de carretera. Tengo un podcast. 

Pues la verdad hoy no tengo mucho que contaros. Creo que llegó el momento de la acción. Croacia le acaba de ganar a Japón en penales. Creo que hablo mejor español ahora que ayer por haber escuchado un partido de fútbol de dos horas en español. Y bueno, quizás me vaya para México mañana. Bueno, mañana a lo mejor no. Pero en los siguientes días. Ya veremos. 

Ya. Creo que estoy listo. 

Ya. 

Deséenme suerte por favor. Recen por mí. Yo recé esta mañana. Le recé al universo para que me cuidara y me guiara. Para que me diera la fortaleza de vivir en harmonía con él. 

Con el Tao.  

¿Y luego?

 Creo que me voy para el sur hoy, pero no sé. No sé que hacer. Podría: agarrar un vuelo al DF, o podría manejar hacia el sur. Podría llegar hoy hasta Portland, y mañana a Bend. Podría escalar mañana en Bend. Y luego podría seguir hacia el sur....

Pero es que soy indeciso. No sé que quiero. No sé dónde quiero estar. No sé que quiero hacer. Con mis días, con mi vida. O sea sí sé que quiero escalar. Eso sí sé. Pero es una de las pocas cosas que sé.....

Ahorita me reúno con Barry para tomar un café y dar una vuelta por Interlaken. ¿Y luego regreso al bote? La verdad no quiero regresar al bote. Quiero verme con Barry y luego irme. Mi teléfono se está cargando. No me puedo olvidar la guía de Bishop. De Josh. ¿Entonces?

Que lata no saber qué quieres hacer con la vida. Mucha gente parece saberlo, yo no tengo idea. 

A ver. 

Se siente bien el calefactor. Estoy emocionado de tomar un decaf oat latte. Pues. 

O sea. 

Yo creo que voy me a ir ya para Fuel. Llegar un poco temprano. Dar una vuelta antes de la vuelta. O medito unos minutos, y luego me voy. Sí sí eso. Medito. Medito. Medito. No te olvides de llevar el libro a la biblioteca. No te olvides de tirar los botes a la basura. Los xtra tuff que hace casi 10 años que tengo y que están destruídos. No te olvides de llevartelos. No te olvides. 

Son las 9:55 de la mañana. El 4 de diciembre. 

Mañana hará sol en Index y en Gold Bar.

¿Estará seco el boulder?

Los confines de...

El conjunto....

Lateral para la selección inglesa. 

Saque de meta. 

Tiro de esquina. 

Tiro libre. 

Pelotazo. 

Bueno, listo. Voy a meditar un poco. Y luego encontrarme con Barry. Y luego dar una vuelta. ¿Y luego?

R2V6: Heel Hook Beta on Leggo My Ego?

I'm going back to Leggo My Ego V6 today. I'm going to try keeping my left foot lower, and if that doesn't work I'll try the left heel hook beta. All I have to do is get to the throw. I know I can do the throw. I just have to figure out a less strenuous, higher percentage way of getting there. 

I'm hoping my left achilles will cooperate. It was aggravated during my second climbing sesh the other day. I put my shoe on and it felt terrible. I should've just not climbed, but it seemed so strange that my left achilles could be hurting I just kept going. Yes, my priority is my achilles, but I also really want to climb today. I made some good progress on Leggo the last time, and I've been thinking about it a lot. I think I got too wrapped up in the short person beta. The guys I saw do the bottom were both several inches shorter than me. That high left foot could be bad for me. Plus, I have to figure out how to be as NOT scrunched as possible. I don't do well scrunched. That's why the bottom of Leggo is way easier for shorter people, while the top is way harder. 

I might stay in the Blue Elk Lodge tonight in Leavenworth. It would set me back $300 after taxes. But it's OK. My monthly budget for getting off the boat is $400. Then again, if I drive south on December 1st, to Bend, Bishop and beyond to J-Tree and Red Rocks, I'll be spending a lot more on lodging. There's no way I'm camping in Bishop again. Last time it was fucking freezing. Maybe if I got a new sleeping bag, though... 

I'm thinking about staying in Bishop for a week in December. As long as it's not too cold the first night, maybe I could even extend by camping the first night. That way I'd be in Bishop eight days. Climbing every other day, that's four days of climbing! I can't do what I did in Squamish, which was climb two days, take one day off. My body starts to degrade. But you need a bit of time in Bishop, if you're going to actually project anything...

The goal for that week would be to send a V4 there. Maybe a V5?

Ketron Classic, Anti-Hero, Serengeti, Molly, Solarium...any other suggestions for for good (easy) 4's and 5's in Bishop? Preferably in the Happies or the Sads, since my car can barely make it to the Buttermilks. 

Am I caffeinated right now? I had two cups of cacao with a superfood powder that has maca, ashwagandha and reishi. 

I'm theobrominated.

It Doesn't Flow (but I'll be back)

 I went to Index yesterday to work on Leggo My Ego V6. It was my first session dedicated purely to this boulder. After warming up on the two arete V2's and doing some scalp pull-ups, knee push-ups, stretching and eccentric pull-up lowerings, I commenced trying some of the moves on Leggo. I started with the top part, aka pulling onto the crimp rail, getting the right foot up, moving the right thumb to the thumb catch, and getting poised for the jump. 

This, after a couple attempts, felt pretty good. 

Next, I started working on the lower part. Or rather the middle part. The guy climbing next to me was the headsetter at the Wenatchee climbing gym, so he was able to help me work on the beta a bit. He sent the boulder in a few trees, and I tried to copy his beta, which wasn't really working for me. He was a few inches shorter than me, a better climber, and possibly just more used to scrunched up positions. 

;alsdkjf;ldaskjslk

asdlfkjads;lfjds;lfkdjas

dsjflkdajs;flkdjsf;kldasjd

sfdas;lkfjdas;lkfjdsl;kfjds

Ugh I'm so sick of not being able to write. 

Why do I even try. 

It doesn't flow. 

AJSKDJFKASDJFKDSJKDSJFKDSJFKDSJKDSJKDSJFKDSFJDKSFJDSKDJSKFDSJFKDSJK

28 words short but whatever

 Gonna do 1,500 words at Upper Walls this morning, where I'm currently posted up looking out at a completely EMPTY gym. There's not a single soul here. Don't know if I've ever seen this. It's an ideal work environment. Beautiful boulders to stare at, and no human distractions. 

Perfect for a writer hellbent on 1,500 words of literary perfection. 

Could I open a climbing gym? In Port Angeles? In Sequim? No, not enough people. 

Still no people. 

The music is loud. 

The girl at the front desk is stoked there's no one here. Nothing for her to do, or at least less for her to do, and no one to fall and break their ankle and require a LOT for her to do. 

My hands are fucking freezing. 

So, we're climbing outside tomorrow. I want to of course try to make some progress on Stinkin' Slopers, but I'd also maybe like to try Water V6? Some moves on Obesity V6? I say V6 of course for Obsesity cuz it's guidebook V7 but I take the average grade from the guidebook, Mountain Project and Sendage, and it's a V6 on the latter two. It seems HARD, since it's so overhung, but i guess the holds are pretty good and maybe the feet are pretty good, too? 

Definitely didn't need that shot of mezcal yesterday. 

Current candidates for my first V6:

Ryan's Problem

Obesity

Leggo My Ego

Metroid Prime

Water

So far the one I've put the most work into BY FAR is Leggo, though that's not to say much work since every time I've tried the bottom it's shut me down so hard that I've given up quickly. But I've made progress on the middle which is important. I could now probably do it from being matched on the rail, i.e. I've gotten to the thumb catch and set up for the huck but haven't done the huck, which means I just need to puzzle out the bottom. The bottom isn't fun, but I suspect it actually kind of is once you get it dialed. It's not fun for me because I can't do it. 

Current candidates for more V5s:

Schist Cave Right 

Pentaphobia

Stinkin' Slopers

Alfalfa or Spanky

Miller Light

Gates of Fire

The White Arete

Pretty Woman

V4's I'd like to do to build out my pyramid more: 

Sunshine Daydream

Serenity Now

The Slot Problem (I have fantasies of flashing this one)

Twisted Tree

Silver Slippers

Jesus Christ just did a little world war three action in the bathroom downstairs at Upper Walls. Luckily no one waiting to go in after me. Some people have shown up at the climbing gym. There's a guy trying the blue that starts with a toehook but he doesn't seem to see the hold you toehook. He's failing. The girl he's with just climbed a purple. I want a crusher to show up so I can learn something from them. I wish that insanely sexy girl with the Washington tattoo on her shoulder would show up, or Theresa. Theresa is a crusher. At least bro who was trying toehook blue is kind of a crusher. He's trying another blue, now. The music is kinda bomb. I'm getting into a bit of a rhythm, and who cares that most of this 1,500 words so far has been spent discussing these 1,500 words or my direct surroundings. 

Where are the crushers?

Today is like day eight or nine of abstinence. I feel superhuman in some ways. No caffeine, and abstinence. But I'm not sure how long I can keep it up. I want to do at least two weeks but I'd rather just go until the abstinence can be ended in a natural way. It's such a motivating factor. I feel more motivated in all aspects of life, less apathetic, and certainly it changes things in the afternoons when I have nothing else going on. Get out and do something! Go meet people!

Last night H and N and I were at Hilltop in Queen Anne eating burgers and drinking cider and having a vitriolic argument over buying a house in Mexico. N wanted to do thinks completely by the book, H wanted to do the opposite, and I mostly just sat there and listened to them. The burger was delicious, as usual. I had a Greek salad to accompany it. Then we headed out into the freezing night air to walk to Bar Miriam, where the plan was to have one more drink. The place was kind of poppin', and so we had to stand at a narrow table in the middle of the room. I felt pretty great though, despite the exposure. There looked to be no single girls there. Our server was cute, though, and ended up talking to us quite a bit. She had a tattoo of a ferry on her forearm, which I liked because having grown up on an island I enjoy ferries. They were a big part of my life growing up. They're still a bit part of my life. I hope they're a big part of my life forever. 

The vibes were good and I don't know how it happened but I ordered shots for everyone, including the server, without consulting anyone. N only drank half of his. The server downed her completely in one gulp. H sipped his. At this point I was feeling slightly loopy but also happy and after paying we went outside and outside I let myself be pressured into going BACK in and asking the server for her number. It was awkward. She looked like she didn't really want to, but J thinks that might just be me projecting. Either way, she gave me her number, but lord knows I haven't text her yet. I don't plan to text her anytime soon. I don't know what I plan to do with the number. I guess text her and ask her if she wants to get drinks? Ask her if she boulders and if so would she like to go climbing sometime? I have nothing to lose, really. I supposedly have a date this weekend with a girl from Hinge, though the specifics aren't nailed own on that yet. I kind of wish I hadn't ended things with Carly. I kind of wish I hadn't ended things with Jamie. Kind of. 

ANYWAY, enough about my personal life, that's none of your business, frankly, though now it's exactly your business. 

Mostly I just told that story because it's a good way to take up words. 

I'm watching Shawn Raboutou flash Spectre V13 and it's making my palms sweat. 

Oh shit I'm up to 1,100 words now. Our journey is almost at an end. 

Our journey together.

As lovers. 

If someone doesn't start trying pinks or whites soon I'm gonna throw a tantrum. But I don't wanna go down to Main cuz it smells like a gym sock down there. But I also might run into someone I know there, which would be cool. But I also might run into -----, which would not be as cool. I wish I could just climb today, but I can't do that cuz I'm climbing outside tomorrow. J and H can take turns carrying the other pad up. That way we'll have two big pads up there, which is so much better than one pad. We'll start at the Warm-up Slab and maybe J will be psyched to try Rocksteadeasy V3, and maybe I'll resend it. Then we'll go up to The Button V3, since I think J will be super psyched on both that and Steppin' Razor, and I think H could be pretty psyched as well. Then we'll do a quick interlude at Water V6, and then head to Stink' Slopers for a bit so I can get my paws on it. 

Ya? 

Bien. 

Me alegro.

Callate. 

Quien diablos es esta mamacita en la blusa violeta. Diablos tiene la piel porcelana. 

Still no crushers. 

Hands are still cold. 

K well I'm gonna do some yoga. I only need another 120 words and that can easily be accomplished with one run-on sentence that I'll embark on right here, much like a long ship voyage, talking about everything I've talked about so far, summarizing it, and what I could say if I were forced to summarize it would be that I'm stoked on climbing right now and stoked on projecting V6's and V5's so I can meet my goal of climbing one more V5 and one V6 this fall. Though actually I think I'll end the run-in sentence right there because to continue it would've been a bit unnatural. We'll do a run-on thought, though. Today's a new day. It's 11:05am on 11/11. Which means I need to make a wish in six minutes. What will I wish for?

Also (aka Stinkin' Slopers V5)

 Big shout out to Jessa, the latest diehard fan of WW@BS.COM. I hadn't REALLY planned on sharing this blog with too many people, but Jessa is someone I trust with my work, aka musings, aka drivel.

So big shout out. 

Also shout out to CORINCE if you're out there, though you're probably not. Derd.

Shout out to Kevin Smith.

Shout out to Sam Kidder.

Shout out to Dan Stewart. 

Shout.

Out. 

It's been over a month since I've had caffeine now. 

YESTESRDAY I WENT TO GOLD BAR TO TRY STINKIN' SLOPERS V5 and one the hand I felt super weak and discouraged because I still couldn't do the start move and on the other hand I now feel like I could possibly send this bloc in the next couple sessions. 

I think the "weakness" comes from not climbing at all while I was in Mexico (which was a good thing), not eating quite as good now as I did maybe a couple months ago, and lastly from climbing a little too much right now. For me the hardest thing in climbing right now is NOT CLIMBING TOO MUCH. When I had just started my job and was taking an evening interpreting course it was super easy to not climb too much. But now that I'm essentially not working again it's hard to not just climb EVERY FUCKING DAY. 

So yeah yesterday I drove out to GOLD BAR, got there about 1pm, did the three-mile hike up, warmed up a  bit on Tetris Right and Tetris Left (two V1's), and then went up to look at and try some moves on Stinkin' Slopers, a low V5 sloper traverse. This was my first REAL session on the boulder, since I think all I really did last time was try the start move and MAYBE one or two of the middle moves. 

I started by doing the top out from the rail AFTER the slopers, which is basically V0 but has several moves. So, sick. Because once you've done the top out you can basically hack that section of the boulder off and start imagining that the boulder ends at the beginning of that topout. 

THEN I tried the first move, got close but pretty shut down, tried some of the middle moves, kept warming up the fingers, tried some of the sloper moves, went back to the start move, etc etc, just kind of cycling through, getting warmer and warmer and not overdoing it too much on one move. This is what works for me when projecting, both to keep the psych HIGH and also to not develop overuse injuries, since there's nothing worse for an overuse injury than trying one move over and over and over and over again. 

THEN I focused on one move I really wanted to do: moving from right hand on the nose sloper and left hand on the bad sloper to right hand on the high RIGHT sloper, followed by left heel hand match, etc. After a couple tries I was able to go up and right with my right hand, and also felt like I could do the heel hand match but stopped. Another very popular option is to do the left heel hand match FIRST and then go to the high sloper with the left hand, and I'll definitely have to try that next time. I also did the first couple moves after the start more successfully, and by the time I got home and watched some videos I realized there's probably only really TWO MOVES that I can't do right now. In one of the videos I saw a girl cheating and getting a kneebar in before evening pulling off, aka NOT a sit start, but that made me realize I could probably get a kneebar or at least a knee scum in JUST AFTER pulling off, which would make the first move way easier. Which would then mean I'd only really have one move I can't do, but that I'm sure I can puzzle out.

Long story short: I went from feeling like that boulder was WAY TOO HARD for me yesterday to now feeling like it could go in the next few sessions.

And honestly, I'd be sort of surprised if it didn't.

Also the weather is brilliant for the next week. 

Also I'm drinking mint tea with chia seeds. 

Also. 

Look at this Forecast

Well hello friends! This is your host, Mark Wetzler, coming to you live from the Ballard Locks in beautiful Seattle. It rained pretty much all night last night, but now it's abated. And check out the forecast for the next week:

Let's frickin' go, right! Let's go? Let's go?

All sun. Not just in Seattle but in Gold Bar, Leavenworth, Bend....

Probably in Bishop, too.

Surely in Red Rocks.

So. Updates. Got some yogurt fermenting right now. It's been in there for going on 25 hours. I've already sampled it, and it looks pretty solid. Those last few hours though are where the magic really starts to happen. Like hours 24-36. 

Holy shit it's actually almost sunny in Seattle right now. I need to get off my boat. 

Let's go......................................

Current plan for this week: Climb outside tomorrow in Gold Bar. Then go to Leavenworth on Wednesday???? Problem with that though is it's supposed to be gorgeous in GB, and I always feel a bit weird driving to Leavy when GB is perf. 

I'm kinda feeling a beetroot latte right now. 

I'm gonna watch till the 65th minute then I'm gonna shower and get out of here.

I'm feeling fairly mentally healthy despite many glasses of wine last night. Or actually not THAT many? Maybe three? We drank wine and watched the new season of White Lotus and then we danced our asses off. There was a moment where I think all of us felt completely uninhibited and were just dancing like madmen in an orgiastic way. I was sweating. It was wonderful. And then after arriving home I tasted my new batch of yogurt. 

God this forecast. 

This fucking forecast. 

What boulders should I try?

Chaac V5

Five Star Arete V6

Stinkin' Slopers V5

Metroid Prime V6

And many, many more. 

I Know the Answer

 Hmmm, apparently no one is reading this blog, as the last two posts currently have zero views. That's great, because what I want to practice is writing without thinking about it. Writing the kind of way I do when I journal. Though when I journal I write longhand, and that takes forever, so usually my sentences are shorter. But when I type I tend to drone on. 

You know when you hook up with someone and you can't stop thinking about that person but you're not even sure if you should be thinking about that person? That's how I feel now. It's very confusing. Halloween was a wonderful, wonderful day. We surfed the ranch. We hung out at the palapa. I gave Eli tons of shit. La Jesi was there, la Julia, Sergio. Our whole crew. If I'm not mistaken I had breakfast and then when Hunter and Nate went out for a second surf I had a Corona. I had two Heinekins last night and then two IPAs at the football game and I kind of feel a bit tired today and I really shouldn't drink beer, especially IPAs. Light beers are OK. But they don't make me feel great. Wine makes me feel good. Cider makes me feel good. 

My legal interpreting test is in an hour and fifteen minutes. In an hour and fifteen minutes I'll be sitting in a room in Shoreline Community College, possibly observed by one person, possibly observed by several people, doing one of the hardest things it's possible to do in the interpreting world: simultaneous interpretation. And I will do my best, of course, but that probably won't be great since I've barely studied. Fiscal = prosecutor. Procesar = to prosecute. La fiscalia = the prosecution. El demandante = the plaintiff. El acusado = the defendent. 

etc etc

Ugh I hate when I can't stop thinking about someone. 

And yet. And yet. 

What a frickin day for hockey today. All my teams play. The Kraken, the Canucks and the Oilers. 

At least it's sunny today. And I should be able to climb outside at least twice next week. Once in Gold Bar, and then maybe another time in Gold Bar or another time in Leavenworth. Maybe get a hotel out in Wenatchee. Check my oil. Derd. Take some turmeric, some mushroom supplements. Try Alfalfa or Spanky again? No. Yes? Try Schist Cave Right? No. Yes? Try The Hourglass V6? 

When you're stewing on something does it help to write about it or just to try to bury it and stop thinking about it? 

I haven't even brought up my job. On Monday I'll go into the office and I'll say, "Nora, I think I'm done with phone work." And she'll be like, "OK." And I'll be like, "So, should I just coast for a bit and see if something else comes up, or should we cut the cord?" And she'll be like, "....."

And I'll be like. 

And she'll be like. 

But it's fucking sunny today.

It's fucking SUNNY. 

Is it better to meet someone and share an amazing time with that person and then suffer the heartwrench after? Or is it better to not have even met that person at all.

I know the answer.

The Half Life of Valery K

 Consider today's blog post the shakedown to the real shakedown. The real shakedown is going to be taking a week-long bouldering trip and writing a short booklet about it, kind of like a non-fiction novella. And that will be shakedown for the REAL trip, which will be a multi-month bouldering trip through the American Southwest. Or maybe it will be a multi-month trip to Europe: Spain, Portugal, France, Switzerland, Italy, Slovenia. Or maybe it will be another trip to Latin America. The point is it will be the shakedown for a multi-month trip that I write a book about, much like I did about Eastern Europe in 2014. 

Now, how to start today's shakedown to the shakedown?

I guess I could start with the current state of my climbing, since the real shakedown will be a climbing trip. 

So far I've climbed:

Lots of V3's

Six V4's 

Two V5's

Zero V6's 

Zero V7's

Zero V8-V17's

As you can see, the hardest boulder problem I've climbed is V5. Until recently, V4's were generally a fight to the death for me. But then something clicked. I started training front levers. I started getting my gut in order. I started WORKING, which meant I couldn't climb as much, which meant I recovered better. And something clicked with my climbing, and I started getting better. 

But NOW, TODAY, things are a bit different. I was just in Mexico for two weeks. I smoked a ton of rollies while I was there. I didn't pull down on ANYTHING while I was there, unless you count pulling down on the water in front of me to paddle my surfboard. Which was the point, of course. Not pulling. I wanted to take a two-week break from climbing, and that's exactly what I did. 

But now I'm back, and I'm weak. 

The first session back in the gym was of course the day after I got back. I warmed up on a bunch of yellows, reds and greens, then did a crimpy but easy purple on the slab/vertical wall, and then started trying some harder stuff. I tried an orange that shut me down. I tried a blue that shut me down. I tried ANOTHER blue that shut me down. Finally, I flashed an orange that was kind of fun and decided to call it a day. My body was whispering, "Please stop now. Don't hurt me." And usually when it's just whispering I say, "OK. Just a little bit more" and it says, "OK, I'm going to start breaking down" and then I keep climbing and SORT OF hurt myself, but mostly just kind of strain things, but that didn't happen the other day. I actually stopped. And so today, a couple days later, not having smoked cigs and having eaten decently, I feel pretty good. Well, no, not pretty good. But I feel better than Wednesday. 

I'm supposed to fast till two today. But I really want some cacao. Should I get some cacao. Should I go to Trader Joe's? 

This Seattle water tastes like pool water. Damnit. 

So that's the plan: Start doing shakedown posts here, then do a week-long shakedown trip, then do a three-four month trip where I write about bouldering and life every day. Everyday. Every day. 

My last outside sesh was with Jessa in which I sent Gimme Back My Id V5. This problem, let it be known, is pronounced Gimme Back My "Ihd," as in "rhymes with 'it' but with a 'd' sound," not ID as in identification, as it's commonly MISPRONOUNCED. I mean, the whole boulder has a psychology/Sigmund Freud theme right? Leggo My EGO (not "eggo") V6, Sigmund Freud V4, and finally Gimme Back My Id V5. 

Jessa climbed both the V2's and started trying the V5 and was stoked. I warmed up on the V2's, doing them a few times, and then started trying the moves on the V5 and was also stoked. And then after feeling quite warm I started giving it redpoint burns. 

Oh! Oh! 

But let me not forget that BEFORE I started giving it redpoint burns, I stuck the big move to the lip, which I hadn't done before and which gave me tons of confidence that it would go that day. Because at that point I had done ALL the moves. Not some of the moves. All the moves. 

In a few words I'm going to lie down and read The Half Life of Valery K, but for now I have to get to 750 words so I can be halfway done, since the goal for this shakedown post is 1500 words.

Anyway. 

Back to the Gimme Back My Id sesh. 

I started giving it redpoint burns after sticking the dyno, and sent it on like the third or fourth try. The send go felt quite easy. This boulder gave me less problems than a lot of the V4's I've sent, though to be fair it does share the first move of a V4 that I had put a lot of work into (Sigmund Freud). But it's interesting because Harlow Huber (Leavenworth YouTuber extraordinaire) thinks this is HARDER than Leggo My Ego, which is a V6. He thinks Leggo should be a V5. And Leggo completely shuts me down every time I try it, so I guess that's just testament to different people being good at different stuff. For me, working Gimme Back My Id was an absolute dream. The progress was so linear. It's not often you have that linear progress. Usually there's a stopper move. But with U2 (my first V3), and maybe a few others like Sigmund Freud V4, Zelda Rails V4, The Giant's Nose V4 (Squamish), the progress was quite linear, which is more than quite satisfying. But I've never worked a problem where the progress was as linear as it was with Gimme. Each day making new links, getting a little bit closer. And then suddenly you can do all the moves. And then suddenly you're sending. 

OK I shall take a break now, friends, and be back in a bit to finish off this blog post. This shakedown post. 

 OK, I'm back. I read The Half Life of Valery K for a bit (I'm loving it), and then I went to the bathroom and got my big puffy jacket on the way. Yesterday was an experiment in fashion. Jessa and I went to H&M where I spent like $160, but only the last $70 I had to pay for out of pocket because the rest I had a gift card for. I'm not a huge H&M fan anymore, but I had a gift card. Sue me. They make some cool stuff, it just doesn't last. And it was made by four year olds in Bangladesh. And it's the worst quality ever, like it's already falling apart as you take it out of the store. And it's made by four year olds in Bangladesh. 

But I got a sick jacket. 

I'm not wearing deodorant. I'm trying to figure out when I'm climbing today, and who with. Might be with Adi, might be with Jessa, might be alone. I'd LOVE if it were with Anna, but I don't have her number anymore. And she didn't seem all that stoked to climb with me in the first place. And she has boyfriend who she talks about constantly. Or I guess I should say TALKED about, since our relationship is firmly past tense. She works for Google. I don't work for Google. God I desperately want cacao right now. 

Does this mean I desperately want caffeine?

I'm wondering if the 1,500 word thing is a little much. I mean, just having a word minimum in general. Do word minimums work? Is everything I've written up to this point drivel? Probably. Definitely. But that's ok. No one will read this. Maybe a couple people will read this, but not a lot of people will read this. They'll read this and think, Wow, Mark's still trying to write, and he'd really not getting better. It's been 20 years and he literally hasn't improved as a writer. And that's completely fine. I've never written for fame. I've always written because I've loved it, because I need to. I know it's weird to say you NEED to write, but I kind of do. I'm certainly not doing it for the money. Though I've always thought it would be kind of cool to only live off writing. I would starve to death in like a week. 

The Half Life of Valery K. 

Gimme Back My Id.

A gym sesh today either alone or with Jessa.

A Rebbl cacao maca drink. 

Some sardines? 

Some cider later? 

An interpreter test tomorrow that I'm probably going to fail.

Shoreline.

The City of Shoreline. 

My nephew's soccer game. 

The fucking rain and clouds and fucking gloom and the fact that it's fucking dark at fucking 5:30pm and only one of my fucking headlights works. 

Rachel. 

Mexico. 

The fucking gloom. 

Fruit plates. 

Saladita.

The water so clear beneath me.

Us sitting on the porch. 

Touching arms, touching thighs. 

The hot hot heat and paddling in the water and being NEXT to someone and then being back in Seattle and it's fucking gloomy and the fucking gloom and the fucking gloom and the fucking gloom.

And my fucking job that's bullshit. 

And the fact that I'm taking this fucking interpreter test. 

The Half Life of Valery K.

Chile or Europe or Chile

 I woke up this morning with an urge to write, so here we are, hopefully both of us, waking up together, about to see the world. 

It's been almost a month without caffeine. 

I think. 

Yes, because I started on a wedding that was October 8th, and now it's November 3rd and I still haven't had caffeine save a few dalliances with cacao, like yesterday when I ordered a hot chocolate at Irwin's and it came with milk and I was pretty bummed. 

Back in Seattle. 

The trip to Mexico was great. It got better as it went along, and ended with a grand finale full of fireworks and fanfare. My surf muscles went from nonexistent at the start of the trip to me now being able to feel some meat on my lats when I reach my hand around my back. My Spanish went from "Haven't spoke in a shit long time, terrible accent, overall rusty," to, "I feel pretty good. I can actually sort of pronounce r's now and no one's even thinking about switching to English on me." I was a bit surprised I stayed off caffeine, even during the trip. The MO has always been: wake up, drink mate or coffee, surf, chill, drink more mate in the afternoon, surf, chill, etc. But the MO on THIS trip harkened back to my days in Costa Rica at Guiones with Barry: wake up, drink a bit of water, go surf. 

And now I'm on the boat drinking water. 

Warm water. 

I went climbing yesterday! First time climbing in over two weeks. I'm a little disconcerted by this thumb thing. Ever since my time spent on Gimme Back My Id V5 my thumb tendons have felt a bit off. My right thumb I straight up injured, but actually it's my left thumb that's giving me more problems now. Either way it was good to climb yesterday, and I was really proud of myself for taking it easy. I tried two slabby blues, sent neither, tried one vertical orange that was confusing and fun that I didn't send, and then finished by flashing a juggy slightly overhanging orange. 

I could tell my body was asking me nicely to stop, so I did. And today I'm glad for it. Monday Tuesday and Wednesday of next week are supposed to be clear in Gold Bar, which means it's a good chance to get out and work on some stuff. I'm thinking Serenity Now V4+, Ryan's Problem V6 (a bit soft and also shares the same start as Serenity Now), or maybe a trip up to the Clear Cut Boulders, though I'm not sure what I'd work on up there.  Maybe Chaac V5? Maybe Water V6? Maybe Obesity V7?

Let's see, what else. Oh, I downloaded Hinge, so that should be interesting. In fact I was just distracted by it, so that's why I stopped typing. What else. It's cold as balls here in Seattle now. Though somehow with the heater on in my boat last night it was TOO hot by morning. So that was nice. 

Lastly, I don't know whether or not I'm going to quit my job. And I'm probably gonna fail the interpreter test on Saturday. And I need a new book to read. And I just started season 2 of White Lotus. And I wanna go visit my parents one of these days. And I'm dogsitting on Bainbridge for a few days during thanksgiving. And I need to start trying front levers again. And making yogurt. And get my gut right. And apply for jobs at UW. And plan a trip to Chile. Or Europe. Or Chile. 

A week off caffeine

 Been a little while since I did a post, and I just wanted to write today to let you know how my experience being off caffeine is going. A week ago I didn't drink caffeine for a day, partly because I was a bit hungover and partly because I was going to a wedding I was a bit nervous about (social anxiety, dancing, etc). So I just didn't drink any caffeine that day, and the next was going to my parents on the island where I grew up and didn't really see a need to drink caffeine that day, either. Of course, at this point I was cognizant of how long I'd gone without caffeine, and figured if I could get through day two I had a solid chance of taking an extended break from caffeine. 

Which brings me to today, more than a week later, still no caffeine.

Well, not ZERO caffeine, because I've had some chocolate, and chocolate has caffeine. Oh and I've also had kombucha, and that has trace amounts of caffeine. 

Oh, and actually yesterday I did a coffee enema, and that probably had some--

I'M KIDDING, of course. Geez, chill. 

(I'm sitting on my boat right now listening to CD's, by the way. I found a bunch of CD's at my parents house and am going through them to see which ones are worth keeping.)

(The song I'm currently listening to is "Smile Like You Mean It"). 

OK, so anyway, it's been more than a week without caffeine, and I currently don't have any plans to go back on it. That said, I don't really have plans to NOT go back on it. What I mean is: I'm just seeing how things go. Right now, I'm enjoying the caffeine-free life. But if that changes and I think there's a place for caffeine in my life, then I'll start drinking it again. Like maybe when I go to Mexico on Tuesday. 

Why do I like not drinking caffeine? 

Great question (decent question).

The answer is many fold, but mostly it boils (unless you're making mate, in which case it definitely doesn't) down to feeling more relaxed and less anxious. This "feeling less anxious" one is interesting, because it's not something I notice in a stark and apparent way, and at the same time it's definitely something I notice in a stark and apparent way. Like, I don't just sit around all day thinking, Damn, I feel chill right now. I'm so not anxious. But I DO notice it in lots of tiny facets of my life. For example, when I go to the island where my parents live, there are generally a lot of dumb tourists on the ferry, waddling like little fat ducks, no idea where they're going, like little fat blind ducks, waddling their way down the gangway to the boat. And normally this irks the shit out of me, walking behind these little fat blind imbecilic ducks, but when I'm not caffeinated, I just...don't really care. Like, I'm more focused on myself, but not in a self-centred way -- in a healthy way. Like, quit worrying about other people and focus on yourself. Like, you know?

Also, my sleep is better, and it's easier for me to fall asleep and take naps and sleep in.

And also the lack of anxiety.

The lack of anxiety.

The lack of anxiety.

The lack of anxiety. 

Anyway, we'll see if I make it through another day w/o caffeine. It's already 9:22am so I'd say there's a good chance!!!

Great chance!!!

K bye.