5) Bremerton
The only city on the Western Seaboard to have both a naval shipyard, an ice hockey rink, and 16 Applebees restaurants, all within the city limits. Stroll the leafy campus of Olympic Community College, home to such alum as Don McKeever, former Nobel Laureate and lead salesman at a Verizon booth in the Silverdale Mall. Take a day trip to Gorst, where one has myriad car dealerships within arm's reach and can also spend a low-key afternoon at Toys Topless, where dreams go to die and men go to (sort of) cheat on their wives.
To get there: Accidentally get on the wrong ferry in Seattle. Commence screaming.
4) Aberdeen
If you want to wear two-inch thick flannel shirts, slip into rote alcoholism and eventually lose your arm in a logging accident, you will not be ostracized in Aberdeen. You will be the majority. The town's slogan is "Come as you are", which means "come a decent person, live for 15 years and leave, like, really bummed". Take a day-trip to nearby Hoquiam, where the most common thing State Patrol Officers hear while helping hapless tourists is, "Wait, where am I? Seriously? Fuck."
3) Yakima
If majestic, rolling plains and drug violence are your thing, then pop over the Cascades for your own little slice of Central Washington paradise. In Yakima you can enjoy the pleasure of watching a thunderstorm drift in over the nearby Ahtanum Ridge and then seeing a young Hispanic man shot dead over a heroine deal gone awry - all in the very same night. The town's nickname is "The Palm Springs of Washington", but everyone knows "Palm Springs" is just a fancy way of saying "Chula Vista".
2) Omak
Omak, in Washington's forgotten Okanagan Valley, boasts a skatepark built by prison convicts and a central business district whose stores sell live chicks. Close to rural BC but far away from everything else, the countryside around Omak provides ample opportunity to hunt elk, camp, or get mauled by a medium-sized black bear.
To get there: Drive due northeast from Seattle until the people you meet stop having titles like "Todd, front-end software designer from Redmond" and start having titles like "Jon Dawson (but people just call me "Cutter"), front-end combine mechanic from Tonasket".
1) SeaTac
Q: What do you get when you combine Washington State's two most important metropolitan areas, an international airport, and 7,000 fast food drive-thrus?
A: SeaTac!
No, ladies and gentleman, it's not a typo: the "t" actually is capitalized in Washington's most underrated town. Most people just buzz through this "quaint" little suburb on their way to the airport or on their way to the Southcenter Cheesecake Factory to bury their faces in 54oz. of ribeye steak served to them by an overly cheery/hurts-himself-at-night-for-fun waiter named Clint, but if you stop to linger a bit in this town you'll see it's not just miles and miles of park-n-fly car lots and blatant prostitution, but rather an up-and-coming urban area with big-city aspirations and ties to international commerce. Ask any realtor and she'll tell you "Location, location, location", and SeaTac definitely has its neighbors beat in this department. Burien? Garbage. But SeaTac? That's like the creme brulee of garbage. And the added bonus? Anytime you get sick of witnessing stabbings as you sip your coffee/puddle water at the Denny's on International Boulevard, direct flights to Reykjavik are just a hop, skip and a jump away.
So there you have it, folks. Leave your Lonely Planets at home, grab your car keys and hit the road. With Wetzler Guides' Top 5 Underrated Destinations in Washington State you're guaranteed to have a good time. Pick one at random and visit it on your day off, or do a tour-de-force journey to all five and get to know the "real" Washington. Just remember: when you fall in love with Omak or SeaTac or Aberdeen and 30 years down the road find yourself living there and commenting to your wife, "Damn, Helen, I'm sure glad we took that trip", you heard it here first.
--Wetzler
The only city on the Western Seaboard to have both a naval shipyard, an ice hockey rink, and 16 Applebees restaurants, all within the city limits. Stroll the leafy campus of Olympic Community College, home to such alum as Don McKeever, former Nobel Laureate and lead salesman at a Verizon booth in the Silverdale Mall. Take a day trip to Gorst, where one has myriad car dealerships within arm's reach and can also spend a low-key afternoon at Toys Topless, where dreams go to die and men go to (sort of) cheat on their wives.
To get there: Accidentally get on the wrong ferry in Seattle. Commence screaming.
4) Aberdeen
If you want to wear two-inch thick flannel shirts, slip into rote alcoholism and eventually lose your arm in a logging accident, you will not be ostracized in Aberdeen. You will be the majority. The town's slogan is "Come as you are", which means "come a decent person, live for 15 years and leave, like, really bummed". Take a day-trip to nearby Hoquiam, where the most common thing State Patrol Officers hear while helping hapless tourists is, "Wait, where am I? Seriously? Fuck."
3) Yakima
If majestic, rolling plains and drug violence are your thing, then pop over the Cascades for your own little slice of Central Washington paradise. In Yakima you can enjoy the pleasure of watching a thunderstorm drift in over the nearby Ahtanum Ridge and then seeing a young Hispanic man shot dead over a heroine deal gone awry - all in the very same night. The town's nickname is "The Palm Springs of Washington", but everyone knows "Palm Springs" is just a fancy way of saying "Chula Vista".
2) Omak
Omak, in Washington's forgotten Okanagan Valley, boasts a skatepark built by prison convicts and a central business district whose stores sell live chicks. Close to rural BC but far away from everything else, the countryside around Omak provides ample opportunity to hunt elk, camp, or get mauled by a medium-sized black bear.
To get there: Drive due northeast from Seattle until the people you meet stop having titles like "Todd, front-end software designer from Redmond" and start having titles like "Jon Dawson (but people just call me "Cutter"), front-end combine mechanic from Tonasket".
1) SeaTac
Q: What do you get when you combine Washington State's two most important metropolitan areas, an international airport, and 7,000 fast food drive-thrus?
A: SeaTac!
No, ladies and gentleman, it's not a typo: the "t" actually is capitalized in Washington's most underrated town. Most people just buzz through this "quaint" little suburb on their way to the airport or on their way to the Southcenter Cheesecake Factory to bury their faces in 54oz. of ribeye steak served to them by an overly cheery/hurts-himself-at-night-for-fun waiter named Clint, but if you stop to linger a bit in this town you'll see it's not just miles and miles of park-n-fly car lots and blatant prostitution, but rather an up-and-coming urban area with big-city aspirations and ties to international commerce. Ask any realtor and she'll tell you "Location, location, location", and SeaTac definitely has its neighbors beat in this department. Burien? Garbage. But SeaTac? That's like the creme brulee of garbage. And the added bonus? Anytime you get sick of witnessing stabbings as you sip your coffee/puddle water at the Denny's on International Boulevard, direct flights to Reykjavik are just a hop, skip and a jump away.
So there you have it, folks. Leave your Lonely Planets at home, grab your car keys and hit the road. With Wetzler Guides' Top 5 Underrated Destinations in Washington State you're guaranteed to have a good time. Pick one at random and visit it on your day off, or do a tour-de-force journey to all five and get to know the "real" Washington. Just remember: when you fall in love with Omak or SeaTac or Aberdeen and 30 years down the road find yourself living there and commenting to your wife, "Damn, Helen, I'm sure glad we took that trip", you heard it here first.
--Wetzler
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