Embarrassing

Ten minutes of writing. Lying here in bed. There's a guy from new Zealand standing next to me. When he first saw me he asked if I was a local. I said "no, I'm an orangutan. " Our conversation was short lived. I didn't really want to talk to him. And after talking to Hannah I didn't want to talk to her, either. She seemed vapid. I don't really know what that word means, but I'm pretty sure it's right. The only thing I want to go do right now is buy ice cream and candy and other goodies and go into massive credit card debt. I want people to talk about me, even if it's poorly. "did you hear about mark? He bought a car and 16,000 ice cream sandwiches and moved to Mexico. I don't think he's coming back". Sometimes I think bad decisions would be much better than not making any decisions at all. It's good to screw up. It's human. And everyone does it. And I suspect the most successful people screw up the most. But does that mean you should go blow all your money right now and burn bridges with your friends and then go jump in front of a car? Probably, actually. At least then you'd learn some things. Like hip replacement surgery. At least then your existence wouldn't be boring. I say it's better to go down in flames than to barely have the pilot light on your whole life. We are all capable of such greatness. Of such diverse forms of greatness. There is no reason to be vapid. Burn brightly! Burn brightly until you go out. Turn the knob on full blast and make sure the gas is on high.