Back Hjome

It has recently come to my attention that I have a lot of grey hair.  And by recently I mean “two minutes ago”, when I checked in the mirror, and realized that my once boyish lion mane has become a salt and pepper Steve Jobs disaster.  Is it the stress?  Probably not.  I’ve worked about four total hours in my life.  Is it the old age?  I mean, I’m only thirty.  Is it something with my diet?  I did eat about 1.5 lbs of gummy bears the other day, and though I felt terrible and vowed to never eat them again I’m thinking about grabbing a handful right now.  Who knows why I already have grey hair.  Maybe it’s genetics.  But like, who gives a shit, right? 

It’s wonderful being back in Seattle.  Seattle air has a distinctive smell: pine trees, saltwater and prosperity. There really is nothing better than summer in Seattle.  A close second might be spring in Seattle, followed by a close third, which would be fall.  There is no better place in the world to be.  Mountains abound!  Lakes around every corner!  An ocean!  Wildlife!  Smoked salmon!  Tech companies!  It would seem that the economy in Seattle is doing just fine.  Everyone and their sister is getting a job at Amazon, which is great for the city except for the little guy like me who can no longer afford to live in the trendy neighborhood because he’s barely making more than a Bangladeshy soccer ball sewer. 

It’s sunny outside, which is somewhat rare for seattle in spring.  On Thursday it’s supposed to be 80 + degrees.  People are going to freak out.  Old people are going to have heat strokes.  I guarantee there will be at least four girls at Madison Park wearing bikinis and at least 600 guys right next to said girls, showing off their tattoos and drinking Rainier brand beer.  I’ve always struggled a little bit with being home, because it seems like everyone is so cool.  I can’t get caught up in the cool race, because I will invariably lose.  I was winning back when 21 years old and skateboarding around the U-District, smoking cigarettes on the roof and going to parties.  That was when I was actually doing OK in the cool race, and I didn’t really care.  But now to care would just be pathetic.  I’m too old.  So I need to watch myself.  Sure having the latest iPhone is kind of cool, but it doesn’t make you cool.  Smoking cigarettes makes you cool.

I might move in with my sister.  Ballard.  Ballard is approximately 15 minutes driving from downtown and approximately 3 hours driving from Capitol Hill.  Unless you take the Burk Gilman, in which case it’s a 5 hour cycle.  But it’s good exercise.  The reason I don’t like Ballard is because the people who ride the busses to and from Ballard are the sketchiest people on earth.  94% of them are their way to donate plasma or go to a used needle depository.  The other 6% are 33 year old female professionals who are doing well and more or less have their shit together but for whatever reason are still riding the bus.  Maybe their cars are in the shop.  Maybe they’re totally green and realize that riding the bus is better for the environment than driving alone in their cars. 

What’s my plan for the summer?  Go to barbecues.  Go swimming.  Go surfing.  Go on camping trips.  Aka surf camp trips.  Go to Canada.  Go hiking in the Olympics.  And also work my ass off.  I owe my parents.  Not a ton of money, but kind of a ton.  Like, I need to start working right now.  Like in the next fifteen minutes.  Like, one of the 4 readers of this blog needs to donate somewhere between three to five-thousand dollars. 

But for the first time in a long time I don’t really feel like traveling.  When I was flying into Seattle it felt almost foreign.  I was gone almost 8 months.  The only thing that didn’t really feel foreign was being away from home.  Things that felt normal were meeting people in hostels and not knowing where I was going to sleep.  So Seattle was a welcome change.  There’s nothing like being away from home to make you appreciate home. 

And on that note, I will go out and appreciate Beautiful Bainbridge Island, where I am currently typing these very words.  I’ll get some vitamin D.  And maybe I’ll figure out this damn ear infection.

--Wetzler